Shit.

shit.shit.shit. the lemonade has been taken up. drunk up by someone else. how could i have been so stupid. so retarded. shit. why did i delay. shit. god, tell me it didnt happen. but it did. its written there for all to see. shit. two damn years all gone to waste. crap. its so damned unfair. i feel so shitty. man, if only i could change what happened. maybe acted long ago before its too late. damn it.

nevermind. everything happens for a reason. god willing, maybe ill know why some day. man, maybe i deserve it. and it sucks to think like that.

ohwell. best not to dwell too much on it. besides, it was good friday yesterday. finally got to watch the passion of the Christ. very sad movie. i have to admit it but i was pretty close to tears. yet, it reminds us all of his sacrifice. the suffering he had to endure for mankind. i'm not a christian but i believe in Christ because thats what my religion teaches me. and we should all remember his sacrifice and the pain he had to endure. (im still 100% mus mind you)

hah. watched a 2 hour documentary at 12am on national geographic. really cool stuff. lots of food for thought. and it made me feel proud of my beliefs, my heritage and my religion. its been a pretty enlightening weekend. marred only by one horrifying incident. sorry people if i suddenly seemed very pissed and acted quite bad to you. at least there is still com games. heh. i shall go and play some more now.

cheers.